Who Are You?
Let me introduce myself. My name is Nicole Nicholson. I am a 35 year-old multiracial woman from the United States of African, European, and First People ancestry. I am a poet. And I also have Asperger Syndrome, which I discovered earlier this year and was officially diagnosed with this month.
Why Did You Start This Blog?
This blog has a three-fold purpose:
- To communicate to the world about my reality as an Aspie woman. While men are diagnosed with AS (and autism spectrum disorders in general) at a much higher frequency than women, this can lead to the idea that there are little to no women who have Asperger’s or who are on the autism spectrum at all. My current premise is that this is not true at all. We may be underdiagnosed for a variety of reasons, some of which have been addressed by experts in the field. And while we have some of the same challenges as men with AS, we as Aspie women also face our own set of issues as well.
- To help educate and do some “myth-busting”. There is a common misconception is that that Asperger Syndrome (and other disorders on the autism spectrum) are conditions which only affect white males. I, as a Aspie woman of color, am living proof that this is not true. If you don’t believe me, then Temple Grandin, Liane Holliday Willey, Tito Mukhopadhyay, and a host of others will also tell you that this is so. I believe that there are many more of us out there: why we are not so visible is one of the issues that I plan to tackle on this blog.
- To reach out to others like myself. I know there MUST be more of us out there; I’ve found proof already, as I’ve cited above. However, I do need to make something clear: my purpose is not to exclude but to include. I welcome dialogue from people of all ethnic backgrounds, colors, creeds, religions, nationalities, sexual orientations, and so forth.
What Will You Talk About?
I will be covering a variety of topics this blog, including:
- Sensory issues
- Social functioning
- How family of origin issues affect the Aspie adult
- Comorbidities (namely PTSD)
- “Theory of mind” related topics
- What I’m reading on the subject
- Women’s health issues in relation to Asperger Syndrome
- Cultural issues and Asperger Syndrome
This is just a short list — I won’t be limited to those topics.
Any Ground Rules?
Yes. Not many, but I have a few:
- Read with an open mind.
- If you comment, please play nice. Profanity is okay, in limited quantities. Flames, slurs directed at someone’s race/ethnicity/sexual orientation/nationality/religion/etc., and insults WILL NOT BE TOLERATED. This place is for communication and discussion, not tearing people apart.
- I am very much in favor of the concept of neurodiversity. I also believe that Aspergers and other autism spectrum disorders are issues with brain wiring and development; thus, I am not sure if there is a “cure” for these conditions. I may willing to debate this issue to a limited extent but Please DO NOT use this blog as an opportunity to promote a “pro-cure” stance or attempt to engage me in endless discussions about the subject. Comments of this kind of nature *will* be deleted and you will likely be banned from posting here again.
Anything Else?
Finally, I have to say that this blog is only the beginning. This is me, kicking the closet door open. I have come to believe that Asperger’s — and other conditions on the autism spectrum — are nothing to be ashamed of. I envision, and would love to see come to fruition, a world in which we can not only survive, but thrive and be accepted for who we are — social issues, eccentricities, sensory issues, and all. You could say that this blog aims to help achieve that goal, in whatever small ways that it can.
Comments on: "About This Blog" (10)
Dear bloggyland friends—Laura, Rachel, Jess, Bruce, Aspergirl Maybe, and Nicole,
As a long and strange year comes to a close, I wanted to say thank you to you all…. Your writing, thoughts, insight, and companionship have meant more to me this year than I can say.
I smile every time I remember I’m not alone anymore; it’s something I’m still getting used to.
I hope the new year brings you all joy and peace.
Chavisory
I am 54 years old, have a daughter who is 32 years old & also an Aspie. I am a social activist & live in Washington DC. I am a mixed blood of Hunkpapa/Dakota/Tslagi/Siksika & Coast Salish aboriginal ancestry. I have African blood from Benin West Africa & Scot Irish & Irish blood.
I am pleased to meet you. I am divorcing from a man who has told me that dating women who have Aspergers is fine, but not marrying them. He says it is horrible. I do not understand what he means.
I am saying hi, and letting you know I’m reading, listening as it were. I’m terribly glad to realize there are others like myself as I’ve lived a very long time thinking not so much there was something wrong with me; but perhaps I was an anomaly, a genetic throwback to an earler variation of human or something.
I’m over 50, single mom and artist. I found out very recently I am an Aspie. Many things fell into place in my mind once I read about Aspergers. My stress levels can be managed but at a price. PTSD is an issue but I’ve worked through parts of that. My creativity has been increasing – a function of the journey of acceptance and discovery perhaps.
Hello:
Thanks for stopping by. I know I have a tendency to lurk out in the blogosphere too, but it’s nice to hear a hello. When I read “The Lost Soul Companion” by Susan Brackney, she mentioned the phenomenon of phatic communication between birds — that sometimes, their chirping serves as a way of saying: “I am here, where are you?” You could say that this is a major function of this blog — to find others through a sort of echolocation. So, thanks for commenting.
I also saw many things fall into place for me mentally once I figured out that I was an Aspie. I suffered through years of knowing that something was different about me, but not knowing just what is was…and sometimes, the “what’s different about me” question turned into the “what’s wrong with me” question. Despite the fact that I’ve committed myself to self-acceptance, to accepting that Asperger’s is an aspect of me and not a disorder, I do sometimes have my days. It is a journey. But I fight back, because I believe that accepting myself as I am is the best thing to do on this journey.
I’m 34 years old, soon to be 35. There are still parts of my mind adjusting to the whole idea. Best wishes to you as you continue on your own journey.
-Nicole
Thanks for starting this blog Nichol. I am 35 years old and white Jewish American woman who also has Asperger’s too. I was diagnosed at age 25 for the first time and could not accept said diagnosis until earlier this year. I find this diagnosis liberating as I know there is no “cure” for it. I look forward to reading your blog posts and sharing experiences with you.
Hi Rebecca:
Thanks for stopping by and I’m glad you found WWA. I think how we understand and accept a diagnosis is up to us — meaning, we have to process it, understand it, and accept it in our own way. But once we do, it seems to be a very helpful thing. I was just diagnosed last year, and earlier that year I began to even consider the question, which kind of helped me not have a “Shocking” moment when I was diagnosed. Best wishes to you on your journey and hope to see you around here again.
-Nicole
Hello,
I am looking forward to reading your blog. I am also a woman on the autistic spectrum. I am a little further down the path of life than you as I am approaching my 56th birthday next year. I had no idea I was on the spectrum till my Mom casually mentioned it to me when I was in my 40′s. She said she had me tested as a 2 year old. The medical evaluation was succinct: “genius with borderline autism”. She was told I would outgrow it, and to “ignore it”. So there was no early intervention for me. Finding out I was an Aspie explained so many things! The sensory issues (especially noise), the constant meltdowns from sensory overload (always in private ~ I have spent many an hour in public bathrooms or in my car quietly sobbing). The inability to “read” people, the list goes on and on. I have come to terms with these things about me, and have fully accepted myself as an Aspie. I strongly believe in the neurodiversity movement. Many aspects of being an Aspie really work for me. I love my memory, and ability to hyperfocus. I would not want to live without those abilities. So thanks for starting this inclusive blog. I look forward to reading about your journey with Asperger’s Syndrome.
Hello I came across your blog and wanted to say thanks for writing it. Do you struggle with any bad habits? I have ASpergers and found out at 40 years old. I have a bad habit of cussing, and not having any routines because I was left to myself as a kid and could do what ever I wanted.
I was also wanting to ask if I can possibly use you as a primary source in an up and coming research paper of marginalized population groups and the negative impact of health that microaggression has upon the population group of woman of color who have Aspergers or HFA.
I want to open my own nonprofit that deals with having everyone who has HFA or Aspergers helping each other out so we can be more succesful. So those of us who are on the autism spectrum can live longer lives and have a longer quality of life.
Sincerely,
Dana Cetz
Hi there, I have aspergers. Diagnosed in my 40s. I am easily overwhelmed and prone to rages. I pick my skin and eat sweets to relieve anxiety. How do you all cope with that side of things. I know I don’t fit in with others and I feel so raw among people. I prefer to be alone but people mistake that for rudeness and aloofness. It’s not at all. I have a knot in my stomach all the time.
Hello Wendy:
Wow. It sounds like you have a lot of anxiety issues. I can relate to that — in my case I can be naturally anxious but with having PTSD I also experience my anxiety amplified sometimes. When my stress levels are up, I am more easily overwhelmed and prone to meltdowns than when I am calm and relaxed.
I think it really depends on how affected you are as to what coping strategies would be useful. You might want to read some of my earlier posts on stress and anxiety. I am a large believer in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and its benefits, but more specifically it’s been my experience that overthinking and overanalyzing tend to raise my levels of anxiety. I know it’s easier said than done to cut down on the overanalyzing, especially for me because it’s as if I’m premeditating or trying to prepare to deal for things that might hurt or might be a huge challenge. Just know that you are not alone and many of us are struggling with this too.
There have been times in my life where I have felt that I don’t fit in. These days, that feeling comes and goes. When I am dealing with coworkers, strangers, etc. I revert to my social scripts which seem to help. With family and friends, I can relax and be myself a bit more. In terms of being around people, the best I can say is that you have to do what’s best for you and what your system can handle.
Do you have a counselor you see frequently, and if so, has he or she proven to be helpful? Do they understand your unique issues with Asperger’s? These are some things you may want to consider.
I hope my response might be a bit of help. Sometimes, I feel like I am muddling through the same issues myself. That’s part of the reason I started this blog was for phatic communication. Susan Brackney, author of “The Lost Soul Companion”, mentions that birds use a form of phatic communication and that some of their vocalizations are equivalent to saying: “I am here, where are you”? So, part of the reason was to find other Aspie women in the same boat as me. And so far, I’ve found varying degrees of some of the same concerns that are mentioned very frequently: anxiety issues, social communication, sexuality, and sensory issues just to name a few.
Please feel free to come back and comment again. Thank you for the introduction.
-Nicole